brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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