I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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