Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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