I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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