Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
