So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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