we're blogging at a bar
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
