I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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