Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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