Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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