I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
