this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
