i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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