In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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