bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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