I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
