fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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