After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
