Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
