it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
