these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
