I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
