dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize