Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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