Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
