you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
