We're like a lot better than the average bears
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
