Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
