I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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