i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Farmville is her only friend.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
