it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
