I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
