she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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