Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize