Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This house was built for laser tag.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
