Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
