I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
