After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize