are you still at the devil's house?
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
