his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
