i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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