suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize