Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
