Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
