You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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