i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If I die, sorry about rent.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
