Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
His nipple licking is glorious
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