She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
