That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Let's paint friendship bongs
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
