awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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