i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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