IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
