I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
