you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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