Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw a hot homeless man
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize