I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
