He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
