The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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