yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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