There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
