I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
