Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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